Pai Sho and Tea
by Em Dixon
Summary: Iroh is convinced that Zuko isn't as lonely as he looks, and intends to get to the bottom of things, with a little help from Jun. What better way to do that than invite his nephew over for tea and a game of pai sho? Rated T for language and innuendo.


**Pai Sho and Tea  
><strong>

Iroh watched Zuko carefully contemplate the placement of his next pai sho tile. It did his heart much good to know that his nephew finally _finally_ embraced the fine art of tea and the enjoyment of a good cup of tea. Though after Iroh told him he would poison delegates with his "hot leaf juice," there had been little choice.

"That is a good move, nephew," Iroh said, stroking his beard.

He ignored Jun, imploring him to hurry up and get to the good questions. She was reclining at a table behind Zuko, sipping a cup of chilled tea. She was another tea convert of his. Jun had been the most fun to convince. The last time he had that much fun…well, it was a long time ago, and he was a different man. Iroh made his move quickly, then watched as Zuko took his time thinking about what he wanted to do. Yes, let him focus on the game. Iroh had another game in mind.

"Tell me, nephew, how are you?"

Zuko looked up, a little surprised. "Huh? I'm fine. Busy, but otherwise I'm fine."

When he went back to studying the board, Iroh looked at Jun. She was smiling, having recognized Iroh's strategy of disarming his nephew. Really, as many times as he's done it by now, Zuko should have noticed it, too. Alas, he was often blind when he wanted to be, and was very indulgent of his favorite relative. Iroh was not above taking advantage of that when it suited him.

"Managing a nation is very tiring work," Iroh said, looking serious just in case Zuko looked up from the tiles. "I hope you take a bit of time for yourself. To have some fun. With other people."

Zuko waved this away. "Don't worry. Toph won't let me stay in the office all day, even if she has to cause some destruction just to get my attention."

"Surely Toph isn't the only one who cares for you."

"When she's here, Katara's a bit more insistent. And Aang." Zuko rolled his eyes, then looked up at Iroh. "Aang is relentless." But he was smiling.

Iroh knew that, as much as Zuko complained about how annoying Aang got, or how he didn't understand the importance of the work he was doing, Zuko appreciated Aang's efforts. He would resist for a while, but eventually would often give in and spend some time with his friends. Iroh smiled. Just how appreciative would Zuko be if he realized that Iroh often dropped hints that Zuko was locking himself in the office, even when he'd only been in there for an hour?

Iroh sighed, put on his sad face, and placed his hand on Zuko's forearm. Jun was smiling wildly now, and Iroh was glad Zuko's back was to her. She'd give the whole thing away.

"I was hoping, dearest nephew, that there might be someone…else. Someone who would look after your well being when your friends are away, and when I am in Ba Sing Se."

A switch was flipped, Zuko's head snapped up. "Uncle, no. No. No. We are not having this conversation. Not you, too."

Jun let out a loud bark of laughter, and Zuko turned to glare at her.

"I am merely worried that you might be lonely, nephew. You are confined to one spot more so than your friends. I don't want you to—"

"I'm _not_ lonely."

Zuko crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at Iroh, but this just made Iroh smile. That denial was too firm, too quickly given. That look wasn't so much anger as it was a warning. Back off. Zuko was hiding something. Iroh smiled a little wider.

"Your mother wanted me to look after you—"

"Uncle, no!"

"—and I intend to do that. That includes making sure all of your needs are met."

Zuko was blushing now, and Iroh knew he was getting closer. Zuko would never admit anything openly, but get him off guard enough, and he just might let it slip.

"I can introduce you to a few of my friends," Jun said, wagging her eyebrows suggestively.

"I can't marry a bounty hunter! The council would kill me," Zuko said, horrified.

"Ah, nephew, I don't think Jun said _anything_ about marriage. However, if that is your concern… I am sure I can help."

Zuko was looking back and forth between them, now, completely overwhelmed. Yes, he might have realized he walked into a trap, but there was no way he could get out of it. The conversation had started, and if he walked away, Iroh would just come back with more force later.

"Uncle, I don't need your help."

"I don't suppose you do, Fire Lord Pouty." Jun raised her cup to him. "I've seen the way they fall all over you. All we have to do to find you is follow the trail of fainted women." She laughed when Zuko's blush deepened.

"Unless," Iroh said, calling Zuko's attention again, "there is someone in particular you have in mind."

Something happened then that Iroh hadn't planned on. Zuko blinked at Iroh a few times, his mouth open, but then he looked away. It was clear he was weighing something in his mind, and he ran his hands through his hair, sighing loudly. Iroh leaned forward, certain that some big mystery about his nephew's love life was going to be revealed.

"Do it," Jun urged, like she was watching a bar fight. She was leaning forward in her seat, but Iroh tried to shush her before she ruined it.

Zuko shook his head, holding his hair back and out of his face. "No. I don't."

"Dammit!" Jun yelled, slamming her cup down on the table. "Dammit." She crossed her arms and glared.

"Well, then." Iroh clapped his hands. There was always, _always_ another strategy. "I don't suppose you would deny my help. It will get the council off your back, and I'm sure you could do with a little fun. I know of a festival—"

"No!" Zuko yelled, pointing at Iroh, the pai sho board long forgotten between them. "The last time you 'suggested' a festival was that damn fertility festival in Ba Sing Se. Do you know how much trouble that caused?"

Iroh blinked, intrigued. "Nephew, how much trouble could you get into at a festival?"

"I'm going to remind you that it was a _fertility_ festival, and then let you think on that."

The Ba Sing Se fertility festival had a special place in Iroh's heart, and he had been glad to share it with Zuko. Besides, he'd been so tightly wound when he came to the Jasmine Dragon that getting him to loosen up was a matter of public safety. Iroh and Jun had reunited a year after the war ended at the fertility festival. Alcohol and food flowed freely, and there was lots of music and more alcohol. It was a celebration of new beginnings and the spring planting season, and of course, fertility. It wasn't uncommon for people to hook up for a little fun. He and Jun had. They'd just decided the fun should continue. He smiled. The old dragon still had it.

"Oh great spirits, who'd you impregnate?" Jun yelled, flying out of her chair, and coming to sit by them.

"I didn't impregnate anyone." Zuko was holding up his hands and backing away from them.

"Then who did you think you got pregnant?" Jun raised an eyebrow, a sly smile on her face.

Zuko huffed, but said nothing. Iroh scratched his beard. If it had just been some girl that he met at the festival, Zuko would have said so. He would have been ashamed of himself, but he would have told them. This led Iroh to believe it was someone they all knew. Then something else hit him.

"Wait, you were dating Lady Lis at the time. She didn't come with you when you came to visit me…"

"No, she didn't," Zuko said quietly, wincing. He rubbed the back of his neck and refused to meet either Iroh's or Jun's eyes.

"Well, well, well," Jun said, leaning back. "I didn't think you had it in you."

Iroh put his hand on Jun's shoulder and shook his head. Zuko did feel bad about the affair. His shoulders slumped, and he had the most pathetic, apologetic face Iroh had seen on him in a very long time. While he might be ashamed of his behavior, the level of sadness didn't quite fit with his forced relationship with Lady Lis. She had been another noblewoman pushed at him by his council in hopes that he might find her pleasant enough to marry. Like all the other forced relationships, this one failed, too, but Iroh knew Zuko hadn't been close to her. If he had, if Zuko had felt anything for her approaching _like_—not even love—he would have brought her to Ba Sing Se that time. Iroh sighed.

"Sometimes our hearts lead us to do foolish things. We are all, ultimately, slaves to our desire for happiness, but the important thing is that you realize this course of action was not right for you…or for your lady friend."

"Who said it had anything to do with the heart?" Zuko asked quietly. But he was smiling to himself, and Iroh knew that he would crack eventually.

A little more pushing wouldn't hurt, though.

"Well, if it has nothing to do with the heart, then perhaps you could settle something for Jun and I."

Jun had the most deliciously evil look on her face as Zuko waved them on. She leaned in really closely to him.

"Scream it," she whispered. "Scream my name."

Iroh had seen that look before. Zuko looked like that the time Azula had shot Iroh with lightning. He was in full panic mode, and Iroh almost wished he had asked the question instead of Jun. Almost. But not really.

"No, no, no, no…" Zuko was shaking his head, and practically pleading with them. "No, no, no." That seemed to be all he could say.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, nephew. We all have our own…preferences…" Iroh couldn't keep the smile off his face, even as he was trying to be sympathetic. After all, who was he to judge? He liked it when Jun brought her whip to bed.

"Scream my fucking name," Jun continued, and Zuko leaned as far away from her as possible without falling out of his chair. "Did she bite you like you asked?"

Now he was red. Really, really red.

"Why did you listen to that?"

Now he was trying to sink into his seat, make himself as small as possible, and Iroh was reminded of the time when he caught a four year old Zuko in the kitchens, his face, hands, and shirt covered in custard. At least he wasn't trying to deny his actions like he had when went swimming in the custard filling.

"Really, Fire Lord Dominatrix, we couldn't _not_ listen to you. Half the _palace_ heard you."

Zuko looked like he was ready to cry, and he put his head down on the table, his hair covering his face. Since Zuko couldn't see him, Iroh unleashed that smile he'd been holding back. He smiled so hard his cheeks were hurting, and he'd just started. A good uncle would have stopped Jun from teasing his nephew, but Iroh thought he could give Zuko a little payback for keeping secrets like his lady friend.

"You should be proud of yourself." Jun patted Zuko's shoulder. "She cried when she screamed your name. I don't think she'll be forgetting you anytime soon."

"Why can't you just kill me?" Zuko groaned.

"Because then I'd lose my favorite nephew."

"Uncle, I'm your only nephew."

"That doesn't mean you can't be my favorite."

Zuko was making a very pathetic keening noise, and Iroh looked around the palace garden, hoping no one was around to see their Fire Lord whimpering like a child.

"Nephew, I understand very well the attraction of sneaking around and meeting in dark corners. It is…very thrilling." Iroh cleared his throat. Jun winked at him. "Secret trysts have an…added element to them."

"That's not why we do it," Zuko said, raising his head from the table. At least his blush was starting to fade.

"Oh?"

"Aw, hell." Zuko squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Shit."

Nope. He hadn't meant to let that one slip. Zuko could be difficult when he wanted, but Iroh could be as well. Iroh felt certain about a few facts concerning his nephew's lady friend. She was someone they knew, otherwise he would have told them her name. It wasn't just good sex, otherwise he wouldn't have felt so guilty about the affair. And he certainly cared a great deal for her, because he was going out of his way to protect her, and the thrill of making out in closets wasn't why they were doing it. Zuko must believe there would be some obstacle or objection to their being together in the open. And the mere thought of her made him smile the wistful smile of a young man in love. Oh, this conversation had gone well _indeed_.

"Nephew, if you wish to tell me her name, you have my word that it will remain your secret."

Zuko thought that over. He looked at Jun. Then he looked at Iroh. Iroh smiled encouragingly and nodded his head, but Zuko looked away, at some point between them.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," he said, sighing. But there was that silly grin again.

"I've believed some very odd things, nephew. Try me."

"I bet I know who it is," Jun said. She poked Zuko's leg with her foot. "How about we guess names, and you tell us if we're close?"

"No, because it would be a very short game."

"Then you're worried about us guessing correctly quickly?" Iroh asked.

"No, the pool of likely and realistic candidates is that small."

Iroh scratched his beard, and was about to make another proposal when Zuko interrupted him.

"Uncle, you would not pull a tea leaf from the plant before it's ready, right? Not before you were sure it was at its peak when it is most flavorful."

"Correct," Iroh said warily, wondering if he was going to regret all those metaphors.

"Then would you pluck a secret too soon, knowing it was not ripe for the picking, and that it might cause more pain for those who are involved and whom you love dearly?"

Yes, Iroh regretted all those metaphors and proverbs and secret sayings. He hadn't thought Zuko had been listening or taking them in at all, but now he was caught by a saying that could have come from his own mouth. Jun found this hilarious.

"He's got you there, big boy," she said, wiping tears from her eyes. Iroh crossed his arms.

"Well then, nephew, I suppose I shall have to be content to wait. Or to figure it out on my own." He scratched his beard and shook his head. Jun was _still_ laughing.

"By the way, Uncle," Zuko moved a tile twice. "I won."

Jun laughed even harder.

* * *

><p>AN: Honestly, you can insert whatever female for Zuko you prefer, but I ship Zutara, so I'm saying it's implied Zutara. Also, yay for Iroh and Jun! I think they'd be a wicked team. I plan to do a two-shot with the fertility festival. I imagine it as more of a festival celebrating the spring planting season where the land is fertile, and people hope for bounty; it's also something of a rebirth festival, and after the war, everyone just wants an excuse to relax and party.


End file.
